For many of us in the journey of intentional godly parenting, the "schooling question" is one of the most significant, and often most stressful, decisions we face. We look at what our friends are doing, we read the latest articles on educational standards, and we weigh the costs of private versus government schools.
We often find ourselves caught in a tug-of-war between homeschooling and traditional schooling, wondering which one is the "gold standard" for a Christian family. But over the years, I’ve come to a conclusion that might seem unconventional to some: The right choice isn't about which system is better; it's about what God is saying concerning that specific child.
If you’ve been feeling the weight of this decision, I want to invite you to take a deep breath. Whether you are leaning toward homeschooling or considering the local government school, the answer isn’t found in a pros-and-cons list. It’s found in the secret place of prayer.
Destiny Over Convenience
The type of school you choose should largely depend on what you have perceived from the Lord regarding your child’s purpose. Every child is a unique arrow, and every arrow needs a specific trajectory to hit its target.
Some children need to be homeschooled because they require a specific, protected structure to nurture the seeds of destiny within them. Others need the exposure of a traditional school because that environment provides the very "iron" that will sharpen them for their future assignments. And for some, the path might be a combination, homeschooled for a season of preparation, then sent out when their roots are deep enough.
This means we cannot make this decision based on what everyone else is doing. We cannot even make it based on what is most convenient for us as parents. I know, it is so much more convenient for all siblings to be in the same school system! But the truth is, two children in the same household can be called to two completely different schooling paths. Why? Because they have different destinies.
When God Says "Traditional School"
There is a common misconception that traditional schools, especially government schools, are places we should "protect" our children from at all costs. While protection is vital, sometimes the Lord asks us to send our children into these environments for very specific reasons.
1. The Missionary Assignment
This is a major reason why my family and I feel the Lord leading us to send our children to traditional schools. We see them not just as students, but as missionaries. They are called to be salt and light, to live out Christ’s life in a place where it might not otherwise be seen.
However, this isn't a "hands-off" approach. If a child is sent on a mission, they must be adequately trained. This is why we focus so much on teaching faith at home. They need to be prepared to stand firm, to know the Word, and to understand who they are in Christ. They will make mistakes, they are children, after all, and our role is to guide and correct them along the way with the help of God.
2. Character and Social Skills
Exposure to different characters, both among teachers and peers, can be a refining fire. In a traditional school, children encounter personalities and situations they might never see at home. This environment helps them develop essential social skills and resilience that they will need for their future.
3. Future Relationships
God knows the future. He knows which friend, teacher, or mentor your child needs to meet today to fulfill a purpose twenty years from now. Sometimes, the Lord places a child in a specific school because there is a relationship waiting there that is key to their destiny.
When God Says "Homeschool"
On the flip side, there are seasons and callings where homeschooling is the only way to go. It is a beautiful, sacred calling, but it should be rooted in a "thus says the Lord."
1. Personalized Education
Traditional schools often operate on a "one size fits all" model. If your child has a destiny that requires a very specific type of education, or if they have a learning style that simply doesn't fit the mold, homeschooling allows you to tailor their learning to their unique design.
2. Divine Protection
There are times when the Lord, in His infinite wisdom, foresees influences that a particular child is not yet ready to handle. In these cases, homeschooling acts as a spiritual and emotional greenhouse, allowing the child to grow strong before they are exposed to the "elements."
3. Strengthening the Family Bond
Sometimes, the pace of traditional schooling can lead to the disintegration of the family unit. The stress, the rush, and the competing voices can pull siblings and parents apart. God may call a family to homeschool simply to knit their hearts back together and strengthen the foundation of the home.
4. A Test of Obedience
Often, homeschooling is a test of faith. It isn’t always the easiest path; in fact, it’s usually the most demanding for the parent. But when God calls you to it, He is asking for your trust. In that obedience, you will find a level of spiritual growth you never expected.
Different Paths for Different Siblings
One of the most important things I’ve learned is that we must be sensitive to the Holy Spirit for each child individually. We might have one child in a government school, acting as a light in their classroom, while their sibling is at the kitchen table being homeschooled.
While it's naturally more convenient to have everyone on the same schedule, we must follow our spirit if the Lord is leading us to do otherwise. Our children’s destinies are worth the "inconvenience" of managing two different educational strategies. If you're feeling overwhelmed by the thought of this, remember that our Club 365 prayer community is a great place to find support as you pray through these specific leadings.
Wealth vs. Strategy
Sending your child to a specific school should not depend on how rich or wealthy you are. It should be about the strategy.
I’ve seen parents struggle to pay for expensive private Christian schools because they thought it was the "godly" thing to do, only to realize later that their child was actually called to be a light in a government school. Conversely, I’ve seen parents ignore a call to homeschool because they were afraid of the financial sacrifice.
Wherever the Lord sends, or whatever He asks you to do, He will make provisions and resources available. Whether it’s the tuition for a private school or the resources needed for a robust homeschool curriculum, the "allocation" follows the "instruction."
The Ask-Listen-Obey Rhythm
So, how do we practically navigate this? I like to use a simple rhythm:
- Ask: Specifically ask God about the next school year for each child. Don't assume.
- Listen: Pay attention to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, the peace in your heart, or even the specific needs of your child that keep coming to the surface.
- Write it Down: Journal what you feel the Lord is saying. Sometimes, the full picture only becomes clear when we look back at our notes.
- Obey: Once you have a sense of direction, move forward. Don't look at what the neighbor is doing.
Every school, whether it’s private, Christian, or government, needs children who are being intentionally raised in the way of the Lord at home. Your child may be the one called to bring that light into a dark place. Or, they may be the one called to stay home and build a foundation that will change the world later.
If you are currently in the middle of this decision and feel stuck, I invite you to book a clarity call. Sometimes, just talking through what you’re hearing from the Lord with someone else can provide the breakthrough you need.
In Conclusion
Whatever the Lord says, please do. In obeying that instruction is where you will find your "allocation": the strength, the grace, the peace, and everything else you need for the journey.
Don't let fear or social pressure make the choice for you. Let destiny be your guide. Whether your child is entering a classroom or sitting at your dining table, if they are where God wants them to be, they are in the safest and most productive place on earth.
Stay intentional, parents. You’re doing a great work!
With love,
Oluwapelumi Boluwaji
Founder, Intentional Godly Parenting